


You *Do* Mind If I Reel You In?

by simply_hyp0tenuse



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Den-O, Kamen Rider W
Genre: Bad Luck, Comedy, Multi, Philip wants to know what's up with the imagins, Rider Crossover, Ryoutarou deserves better, This started out as a joke, don't encourage them please, don't flirt with cute strangers who are already engaged smfh, fate hates yuuto and deneb is wholesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29506806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simply_hyp0tenuse/pseuds/simply_hyp0tenuse
Summary: Amidst rider time shenanigans, Urataros is fully prepared to find another girlfriend after two of his favorites realize they're not the only ones, no matter what place in time that happens to be. But not everyone can be won over by the turtle's flirtatious words and sweeping gestures, a rather surprising wake-up call for the Imagin.Akiko is busy enough as-is with both her friends and husband dealing with monsters as Kamen Riders and planning for starting her family. When an over-confident, blue-eyed kid who looks suspiciously like Den-O waltzes into her life trying to win her over with bad fish-related pick-up lines, she wastes no time in calling Accel on him and smacking him with a slipper.
Relationships: Hidari Shoutarou/Philip, Narumi Akiko/Terui Ryuu, Nogami Ryoutarou & The Taros, Urataros/every woman he meets
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	1. A Plan (And How It Went Wrong)

**Author's Note:**

> I love Kamen Rider and its fandom even if its nearly empty in the west. This idea came to me out of nowhere and even though I don't usually write exclusively canon characters, I started this and couldn't stop until I finished. Hope you get something out of it, whether it be a laugh or a smile!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (The reason Ryoutarou missed out on the crossover rider scene in canon wasn't because Takeru Satoh wasn't available for acting, it was because Urataros was using his body 24/7 to pick up girlfriends in every riderverse instead of helping. And now that's going to backfire on him, and Ryoutarou is the one who has to deal with the aftermath. Again. Then a bit of W/Den-O bonding in the second chapter before Yuuto makes the executive decision that it's time to go before fate decides to further ruin his day. Yeah, just another day for the Kamen Riders.)

Urataros was known for two things: lying and flirting. Both skills required similar skills. He had to be confident, cool, smooth, and a quick thinker. Those traits were what made him so useful in battle, with his fluid movements, quick reflexes, ability to trick his opponents, and deadly accuracy. But when an Imagin wasn't wreaking havoc in the past, he preferred to use them to pick up beautiful women.

He knew the others hated it, his Senpai Momotaros especially always calling him out for being lecherous and flirtatious. Hana would give him a painful punch in the gut whenever his nightly escapades led to Ryoutarou being tired out the next day, even when he was slowly getting stronger.

But he still would wait until everyone was sleeping most nights, taking control of Ryoutarou's body and going out, contacting any of his many girlfriends or trying for another. He was irresistible, everyone knew it, transforming Ryoutarou's cute but still child-like features into someone to swoon over with his charm and sensual energy. It was entertaining, watching how easily he could entrance people, and satisfying when he was able to put the stresses of being Den-O out of his mind, simply _laugh_ and _dance_ and _feel_ with such lovely women until sunrise.

Urataros was known for reeling people in, whether they were old or young, tall or short, brunette or blonde or black-haired, and even if they existed in the past or the present, and it was something he took pride in. He could juggle dozens of half-truths and complete fabrications that made up his web of made-up lives, and the girlfriends that came with them.

...Then two of them happened to run into each other, and realized they each weren't the only apple of "Ryoutarou"'s eye. And Urataros was left with two less girlfriends. It wasn't like he didn't expect _something_ like that to happen at some point, given his host's endless bad luck. It wasn't like it was a big deal. It wasn't like it made much of a difference in his life, either.

But it was a failure, one that wouldn't stop plaguing his thoughts at inconvenient times. Almost made him doubt his abilities. _Him_ , the charming, perfect liar, who spun a web of one-thousand deceptions more interesting than a single truth. And he knew that an unsure fish was the first to get eaten; he would _not_ be that fish.

He just needed a rebound, something to take his mind off everything. A new girlfriend, to prove he wasn't losing his touch. Sure, Ryoutarou and even he and the others were supposed to be busy the next few days chasing an Imagin who had teamed up with some other strange monsters that apparently other Kamen Riders fought, but he wasn't adverse to the idea of finding a date in some other time. As long as she was beautiful, he'd take it.

* * *

They had taken DenLiner to what was apparently the near future, only a few years beyond 2007. Some kind of USB-injecting cult had attracted the attention of certain wish-granting monsters, and the effects had been half a windy city dissolving.

Koutarou and Yuuto had gone off already transformed, meeting up with the local riders while Urataros assumed control of Ryoutarou, taking care to lock both the boy and the other Imagin from the body, at least temporarily. The sun had set, casting thousands of vibrant, warm colors that blended together across the sky, the orange-gold light creating a sharp contrast to Ura's cool, dark theme.

The widespread destruction had been replaced after a bit by memories, repiecing the buildings and lost lives as if nothing had ever happened. People went on about their day like nothing was wrong, aside from the obvious scrabbles when any of the riders engaged in combat with the Do-whatever-they-were-calleds and runaway Imagin.

Even though he partook in exactly none of the fighting, he could see and sense the change as time went on. As he hunted for a lovely woman he could spend the evening with.

(The city of Fuuto was, aside from the excessive wind, certainly not a bad place, Urataros observed. There were plentiful attractions that would be ideal for a date, including the large tower in the midst of the town, and he was sure the view of the water at night was as good here as it was in 2007. He spent at least an hour giving himself a mini-tour, ignoring the protests and outcries from the other Taros that managed to slip past his mental barrier.)

And a lovely woman he found, eventually, walking down the street with purpose in her step, dark hair pulled into a high ponytail with a vibrant-colored scrunchie, round chocolate-colored eyes scanning the sidewalk in front of her and the the small robotic contraption in her hand.

 _This is it. This is the one._ There was no hesitation as he watched her for a moment. She wasn't the _most_ beautiful person he'd ever seen, but given how busy he'd been with his _actual_ duties as Den-O and fighting with the other Imagin on DenLiner, well, he'd missed the refreshing feeling of finding a new girlfriend, that desire to admire and savor such tantalizing beauty.

"Good evening, beautiful," Urataros greeted as he approached her, voice smooth and deep, true blue eyes half-lidded and his hand running through his hair in a way he knew made women weak at the knees.

She looked up at him, rolled her eyes, and continued walking.

Funny, usually he had them with the first bait, but this wasn't his first encounter with a tougher fish. He wasn't easily discouraged. Urataros took a few large strides to get in front of her, blocking the path as he bowed, taking her hand in his and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss. He then let go with one, holding it up as he recited his signature line. "Mind if I reel you in?"

"Yes I do mind, actually. Who the heck are you, anyway!? Weirdo... Get out of the way; I'm engaged, busy, and don't have time for whatever game you're trying to play."

 _Well this is unexpected..._ He couldn't recall a time this had ever happened before. _Engaged, too? This is rough._

"Please, Madame, you won't regret it. A frog in a swamp will always scorn the sea, but once you experience the true wonder of the ocean, you'll never want to look back."

"You calling me a frog or something? Gross! And rude!" She stepped around Urataros and pushed past him, opening up the contraption in her hand, some kind of beetle that became a phone as she dialed a number and held it up to her ear. Urataros felt almost foolish, desperately chasing after her, but his pride was on the line here, and not just the fishing line! Then the phone line picked up, and the woman spoke, interrupting whoever was on the other side. "Dear, are you guys done over there!? I'm getting chased by this weird guy that looks kinda like the one who was supposed to help you guys with the Dopants."

Urataros' heart skipped a beat when he heard the mention of the kaijin he was supposed to be taking down. _So, she knows the Kamen Riders of this world. No big deal. Come on, Ura, you've got this in the bag._

(One of the others was trying to tell him something. Sounded kind of like a warning. He expected that much. He was always getting warnings when he was taking Ryoutarou's body for a stroll.)

"Miss..."

She rolled her eyes again. "It's Akiko."

"Please, Akiko-chan, give me a chance! I've been traveling this world for so many years, searching for a cure to my dear grandmother's illness... All I want is to spend some time with a beautiful girl like yourself, I'm so weary... I'm sure I can do better than your fiance, be a better man, treat you better!" He tried to ignore the slightly desperate edge to his tone.

She stopped, turning back around to look at him while still talking on the phone. "...Yes. You heard that? Alright--I can hold my own! Relax... Wait, that might be... I see." Then she continued walking.

Urataros followed, feeling suspiciously like a lovesick puppy. He quickly made the comparison more literal, imagining his Senpai's reaction if he really had been a dog instead of a turtle, given his fear of the little fluffy things. Not that he could swim, either, but still...

(Whoever it was trying to tell him something was insistent. He brushed them off again. Whatever it was could wait. He had a babe to convince!)

They were veering away from the town, the sidewalk snaking across a hill, which is where she finally stopped, hanging up the beetle-phone and sliding it back to its insectoid form. She raised an eyebrow, as if giving him one last chance to state his case--or get a move on.

"I could take care of you, bring you on adventures your fiance could never dream of. Is he really that great if he leaves you alone at night, when predators might try to take advantage of someone as young and beautiful as yourself? He seems more like a dead fish, a lame fiance, that a siren like yourself deserves so much better than. So, what do you say, lovely?"

The woman's eyes widened with a violent spark as her eyebrows narrowed, reaching into her coat and pulling out a pair of green slippers. The golden kanji on the ends of them read, with clear and sharp strokes, _LEAVE!_

("You utter fool!" Momotaro's voice finally cut through his mental blockade. "That's Accel's fiancee! You know, the dark brooding motorcycle guy with super speed that could _punt you into the sun with one kick_. And you just insulted him to her face and to _him_ through that call! You _idiot_ , Kame-yarou!")

It was in that moment that Urataros realized he had fucked up.


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring: The Nogami bad luck, Yuuto being bullied by the universe, the Taros being little shits and Philip probably enabling them, Koutarou is so tired of everyone, Terui Ryuu just wants to go home, Ryoutarou wants to melt into the ground and Never Come Back, and Akiko is ready to temporarily take Hana's place and smack all the Taros into oblivion.

Three smacks in and a glow seemed to leap out of Ryoutarou's body, the hints of blue in his eyes and hair disappearing with it, along with his glasses. He looked so much younger and frailer without the strange presence possessing him, squinting at Akiko and the man who seemed to appear beside her in an instant, blue suit melting away into a bright red.

"Urataros!" The kid coughed, gripping the side of his face she had smacked with her slipper. "You never learn, do you...?" He looked up at the fuming duo he vaguely recognized as Accel and his to-be wife, the one with the slipper. "Please excuse me. I am so sorry about him!"

Four piles of sand fell from between his skin and his sleeves, forming into the Imagin. Kintaros had his arms crossed and looked half asleep, Ryuutaros was hitting the top of Urataro's head with his fist and yelling, "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Kame-chan, you're so stupid!" (Since when did he and Momotaros agree on _anything_?) And Momotaros himself was fuming, looking about ready to charge at Uratraros at any given moment.

Akiko screamed, jumping behind Accel and pointing at the Imagins. "What the Hell are those!?" She held a green slipper out in front of her.

Ryoutarou scratched the back of his neck nervously. "These... are the Taros, the Imagins who help me transform and fight... But they're a bit troublesome sometimes."

"Who are you calling troublesome!? The turtle bastard was the one who blocked us all out and got us into this trouble when we were _supposed_ to be fighting!" Momo sent an accusatory glare at him, then Ura, just for the movement to startle Akiko. The woman took it as a threat, smacking her slipper onto his head causing sand form to disintegrate. She looked around wildly for a moment, then held it up in the air.

"Hey, I got rid of it!"

Momotaros reappeared, spitting out sand and sending a glare at her. " _Hey_! Kame-yarou deserves that thing, not me! You're almost as bad as the nosy woman back on DenLiner!"

Ryoutarou buried his head in his hands again.

The usually-red Imagin marched over to the turtle in question, pulling him by the wrist out from under Ryuutaros' assault and pushing him toward Akiko. "This _idiot_ is the one who thought taking control of Ryoutarou's body during a mission and using it to go girlfriend-hunting instead of kaijin-hunting was a _brilliant_ idea! The lying guy who made up that whole story about traveling the world to find a cure for his sick grandma!" He glanced at Accel. "The one who said you should leave your 'dead fish, lame fiance' for him."

What sounded like Accel's engine coughed as he turned to send his unimpressed glare at the usually-blue Imagin.

"N-now now, let's not get hasty here. Violence is never the answer, especially not for a beautiful lady such as y--" Urataros was interrupted by another bonk on the head by Ryuutaros.

("Quit it, stupid turtle! Stop being all flirty and just apologize before that motorcycle guy runs us all over."

("And being run over, even as a pile of sand, SUCKS!" Momotaros sent another glare at Ryoutarou, who looked about ready to pass out and move on to the afterlife.)

"--Okay okay, I get it. Akiko-chan, Accel-san, this is all just one big misunderstanding. I merely meant to compliment you, and congratulate you for a lovely engagement; we were just leaving anyways!" It was probably the first time any of them had seen Urataros lose his cool so obviously, aside from his occasional fights with Momotaros where they both beat each other up to the point of nearly breaking their car in the DenLiner.

"As smooth as you act, you're nothing like a real gentleman," Kintaros chimed in, though he seemed to nod off a moment later.

Akiko was still contemplating if she wanted to whack the turtle one with her slipper when he sunk back into the ground the same way he came, the other three turning to where he had been and doing the same, as if chasing after him. Ryoutarou brought his hands down and sighed.

"...Again, I am so sorry about them."

"You having some trouble, gramps?" An approaching bleach blond had a hand on his hip as he looked at Ryoutarou, and soon, a serious-looking brunet followed by an Imagin with its own full form, dark green and yellow, followed.

"Nogami. What's the hold-up?"

"Hey, Akiko! Terui Ryuu!" Akiko turned to see Shoutarou approaching, Philip only a step behind him, his eyes already wide as he acknowledged the other riders. "What's all this? You said there was trouble, and hey, you found the missing rider!"

Undoing his previous sentiment, Ryoutarou's face was back to being buried in his hands as he looked down. "Just my luck."

"Oi! Back on topic! Isn't that Den-O? And..." He glanced at the two Riders he'd just been fighting with. "That makes this... other Den-O? And..."

"Zeronos," Philip filled his partner in, having scanned their books in the Gaia Library before their meeting, walking up to Yuuto and studying him for a moment before wandering over to Deneb. "I know you're an Imagin, but it seems you can take a physical form outside of battle. How intriguing!"

"I'm Deneb! Have a Deneb candy! And please, take care of Yuuto!" The Imagin swiftly bowed, holding out a candy and then bowing again. Philip took it with a grin, walking a circle and then a second around him as he clumsily tried to follow.

"He talks, and it appears he can create candy as well..."

Yuuto sent a worried glance at Ryoutarou and Koutarou, then another at Shoutarou. "Can you get your... partner away from my Imagin? And DENEB! STOP SAYING EMBARRASSING THINGS!" He roughly grabbed at Deneb's shoulder and pulled him away from Philip's prying eyes, though the Imagin only fell down and accidentally dragged Yuuto with him, both of them rolling comically down the hill and landing in a heap of armor and capes, covered in grass. The Rider's voice echoed back up to them, "NOGAMIIIIIIIII!"

Wincing, Ryoutarou sat down on the ground and made an unintelligible groan.

"It appears one of Den-O's Imagins tried seducing my fiancee, and Ryoutarou was the one who took the beating from her slippers. The turtle disappeared after the others exposed him," Accel briefed them. He shook his head softly. "This entire incident has been one big waste of time. I'm just glad we managed to defeat the Dopants and their time-traveling companion."

"I'll agree to put it behind us and never bring it up again if you do," Ryoutarou's muffled voice replied before Koutarou, rolling his eyes, grabbed his hands and pulled him back onto his feet.

Philip, who had come back over to where Shoutarou was standing--though he still occasionally peered over the edge of the hill to see how far Yuuto and Deneb were from the top--and finally stopped geeking out, held out his hand with a smile. "I think that sounds like a fine deal, Den-O. We're Kamen Rider W, this is our boss Akiko, and fellow detective-slash-policeman Terui Ryuu, Kamen Rider Accel."

Ryoutarou slowly held out his own to shake. "You can just call me Ryoutarou. This is my... grandson, Koutarou, the New Den-O, and that down there is Sakurai Yuuto and Deneb, aka Kamen Rider Zeronos. We're still a bit new to this whole, er, Rider team-up thing, but we're probably going to be around pretty often thanks to DenLiner..."

"STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" Yuuto's strained voice came over the hill.

"Yuuto, please don't strain yourself, or else you'll risk tearing your muscles. Allow me to carry you up the hill instea--"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

(There was the sound of a tackle, and then more rolling back down the hill. Ryoutarou was ready to turn to sand and sink into the ground himself at this point. This was the seventh circle of humiliation, and mostly caused by his own darned bad luck.)

As if they could detect the sound and the awkward silence that followed, more sand was thrown on the ground, and the four signature Imagins reappeared, though Ryuutaros was quick to snag Ryoutarou's body as his own, the boy's hair growing a curled purple lock and a tan hat appearing atop his head as he jumped up. His violet eyes gleamed as did a little dance, turned a flip, and landed in front of Shoutarou and Philip.

"Hey, you two are the double-colored Kamen Rider, right? Do you two know any tips for having the best control of the body when the other is being a stupid idiot?"

The two exchanged a glance. "Uh..."

Philip stepped in. "You must be Ryuutaros, the dragon Imagin who's the kaijin equivalent of a five-year-old with a gun. How fascinating! Now, Shoutarou and I are usually in perfect sync and thus can control each half of our shared body without much of a problem, but in case something goes wrong--"

Momotaros started loudly shouting. "LA LA LA LA! HE CAN'T HEAR YOU! SHUT UP! The _last_ thing that brat needs is the secret to shutting all of us out of Ryoutarou's body more than he already can!"

"So brash..."

Momo jabbed a sand-finger at Urataros. "You're the reason we're in this mess in the first place, Kame-yarou! Why did you even follow us out here?"

Letting out a sigh, Kintaros' form became a golden glow, ramming into Ryoutarou's body and forcing Ryuutaros out just as Philip was about to whisper something to him, hair growing out and straightening. A golden streak appeared down the middle as the hat disappeared, shining as bright as his sun-colored eyes. He cracked his neck, voice distinctively lower as he stepped back and regarded the others. "We should be going if the threat has been resolved. Until we see you again, fellow Riders. I look forward to a time when we meet without the world being in peril so that I may prove my superiority in a battle of honor."

"Hey! Everyone has gotten a turn in the body except me! What the heck!? _I'm the main character_!" Momotaros nearly wailed the last part.

At the same moment, Yuuto finally appeared at the top of the hill, positively fuming and covered head to toe in mud and grass stains. Deneb was following quietly behind him as he marched between the groups, grabbing Ryoutarou by one hand and Koutarou by the other as he announced, "We're leaving."

He stepped right through the other Imagins, protested muffled as their forms were trampled, sand disappearing as they became golden orbs of light all fighting to enter Ryoutarou's body.

Koutarou gave them a last exasperated wave goodbye as a portal appeared in the air above them, jingle sounding as a pair of trains came out, tracks sweeping back and forth down until they reached the ground in front of them group. Yuuto practically shoved everyone onto DenLiner and slammed the door shut,

"Well they were... something," Shoutarou broke the silence.

"They're certainly an odd bunch, but you can tell they care about each other in a strange way," Philip replied, locking arms with his partner and waving at Akiko and Terui Ryuu. "Come on, let's get back to Fuuto. We might have new cases to solve, after all. (And I want to look up everything I can specifically on Imagins in the Gaia Library.)"

They all shared small smiles, and Akiko allowed herself to put her slipper away. "You know what? Yeah, let's do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first two rider shows I binged back in November, (sorta?) coming together for a wholesome ending. What more could I ask for? I want to write more for this fandom in the future but no promises yet... Anyways, thanks for reading!


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